This morning the scales were unkind, but I don't have the heart to change my "Today's Weight" scale. I am going to give it a day or two and see what happens. Since my husband's birthday was last weekend, we received many coupons for free food at restaurants, since we're in various e-clubs. Eating out is something I cannot give up. I just have to do it smart. Did I do great at Ruby Tuesday's last night? I wouldn't say great. Doug and I split the bacon cheeseburger, fries, and I had a salad with light dressing and just a bite of the bad-for-you pasta. The salt alone could be the reason for the weight gain, or it could be just the timing of the month. I hope I am being honest with myself and with you. Truth is, I really wanted to bathe myself in fries, shove some into my bra for later, open my purse and pour them in.
After the bad news from the scales, I went to Zumba at the Y. In case you're not familiar with Zumba, it is Latin Hip Hop exercise. I love it. Who says fat people can't dance? Oh, I've paid my dues... pulled my leg muscle so bad that it turned all shades of black and I couldn't walk for days without a major limp. That leg STILL talks to me on rainy days, and the injury occured 9 weeks ago. But I shake it with the rest of them. Actually, Zumba is what inspired me. In my attempt to lie to myself, I decided that I fit in just fine with everybody in the class... when the class was in the big gymnasium. But, when we moved the class into the aerobics room with all of the mirrors, I could see myself. People, mirrors don't lie. It hurt. I was the largest person in the room. So, I found myself a spot in the one place in the room where I can't see the mirrors, and they can't see me. This way, I can continue my Zumba!
On Wednesday, at my exercise class with skinny Amy, a Brazilian woman recognized me from the Zumba class the day before. She told me that she always stays in the back of the class and can see everybody. At this point in the conversaion, my heart wasn't beating quite normal. I've known a lot of Latin folk. They tend to speak their mind, and she was small. And, Latin folk can boogie! She then says, "You're good at Zumba!" I now walk a little taller. So, this morning, I danced for her! I gave my all, shaked it all... and I mean ALL... and sometimes things shook that I didn't meant to shake, and sometimes things just couldn't stop shaking after I got them started, if ya' know what I mean. But, I was proud. Thanks, my new Brazilian friend!
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Michele,
ReplyDeleteI have always thought you had such a great sense of humor, even having experienced your humor at MEND... truly you have to laugh, even when you are hurting, like at MEND... (Truth be told, Greg and I totally got into THE OFFICE after we stumbled upon it just 5 weeks after Samuel died... for Christmas that year I bought the first 2 seasons, just because it was one of the only things that made us laugh and smile. We would just sit on the couch and laugh amidst our deep pain.) enough rambling....
Really Michele, you just make me laugh and smile... I think it is so great what you are doing and that you are so honest about it. It is inspiring. Yesterday when I was thinking about you and this blog, I just smiled knowing... YOU CAN DO IT! Keep persevering friend!
Sara